I stumbled upon a website dedicated to serving professional women in their 20’s and 30’s. I perused it anyway. I was stunned and amazed at what these young women were doing. They are entrepreneurs of the noted millennial sort. Juggling family, schedules, decisions, emails, brainstorming sessions, client meetings and creating the next step in their business. Several women had mentors that guided them. I thought, “how could I possibly mentor a woman who has the chops to create her own startup company at 30 years old?”
There are endless masterclasses, coaching courses, and programs geared toward “a six-figure income in 90 days,” or “how to create successful Facebook ads.” I know, I’ve taken plenty. The pace and expectation are relentless. I genuflect to a mentor that can bring this kind of support. I suppose the updated Buddha saying is: When the entrepreneur is ready, the mentor will appear!
What about mentoring the spirit, the soul, those parts that get lost in the crush of building an empire, creating a family and being in the fast lane for 30+ years? It is our spirit and soul that will come calling when the rigors of business building fade and your body is ready to rest, your mind wants a different focus and the world is turning their attention to the new 20- and 30-year-old’s.
I was fortunate to have a neighbor, friend and mentor who encouraged me to stop and smell the roses. She is responsible for the road trips I regularly schedule. And, when I can, I pass this on to many of the young women I encounter who are in the fast lane. I wonder if they will listen.
This is what I would tell my 30-year-old self. Would I have listened?
#1 HAPPINESS.
It’s not a self-help goal to attain. It’s a state of being that is present some days and not others. You will come to understand what truly makes you happy.
#2 LOVE.
Choose with heart and discretion. Relationship will be your greatest journey.
#3 MONEY.
Respect it. Use it well. Save it. Your 65-year-old self will be grateful.
#4 FRIENDS.
Cultivate life-long friendships. Loneliness in old age does not contribute to longevity.
#5 SELF-CARE.
It is NOT selfish, it will sustain you.
#6 SOUL-SPIRIT.
Every 7 days, find a way to nourish your spirit and soul.
#7 PERFECTION.
It doesn’t exist, and you will make yourself mad trying to get there. Acceptance is a good antidote.
#8 NATURE.
Smell the roses. Spend time in nature. It can calm and restore you, as well as inspire you.
#9 KINDNESS.
Be remembered for your random acts of goodwill and kindness.
#10 AGING.
Don’t fight it. It does not have to be decline and degeneration. You can have a powerful “third act.”
Wise women, what would you tell your 30-year-old self?
To your conscious aging,
Denise
“Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” -Betty Fridan
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Of the 10 things I actually told my 30 year old self, I did not listen to my own advice regarding #2 Love; #3 Money; and #5 Self-Care. As a Greying Goddess who gave birth to a daughter and a son, and as a result of my profound love for both of them, I put aside my needs to take care of myself first. I have had many opportunities to save substantial amounts of money but because of their constant need for my financial support, I have done a poor job of saving for the 65 year old self. I also should have listened to my 30 year old self when I finally figured out what love and relationships would do to frame my future life as a Greying Goddess. I haven’t given up on love but I now avoid looking for it in all the wrong places. Thanks for sharing these 10 things Denise. It got me thinking about who I was when I was 30.
Deborah,
Thank you for comment and sharing your experience. I’m not sure any of us would have listened at 30. We have a fierce agenda at 30 to make things happen, experience life at full throttle and we are “blessed” (or cursed) with the belief that life will be that way forever. Perhaps your generosity toward your children and looking for love in the wrong places is what will give birth to your personal version of wisdom. And maybe, just maybe you can share it with some young woman who will listen, thus making a huge contribution to a future generation.
Being baby boomers, we thought outside the box and explored in ways the previous generation never did. And for that, I’m sure we are both glad and proud. Yet, here we are, part of the largest group of women ever ready for their “third act,” and we are faced with the same issues our parents faced of housing, money and the quality of life. But somehow I know we, as a ferocious group — and especially you — will find a way to thrive as Greying Goddesses.