As 2018 comes to a close,  I’ve been reflecting on the journeys, stories, laughter, changes, challenges and lessons from 2018. I learned to get out of my own way, the power of vulnerability and how to rumble with co-workers as a form of leadership. I managed my aging father with alternating grit and grace.  A new job brought out fear and ferocity.  My beloved and I navigated unrealistic expectations.  A dear friend died and I struggled with my version of aging.  And I thought getting older was supposed to be easier! I took a public speaking course and landed my talk – Looking and Feeling Good as You Age! I taught my course, The Art of Mindful Aging, along with a self-care workshop and spoke on The Wisdom of Uncertainty in Aging. And, I had the opportunity to explore the concept of “giving up” in the aging process.  My boyfriend’s mother is 96. All her life she was an athlete, playing basketball in high school and winning golf tournaments into her late 80s.  My father’s partner will be 100 in January.  She was always a powerhouse, building her own clothing company in Los Angeles after moving from Boston in the 50s and until about 6 months ago was hosting a weekly dance for senior citizens.  My father is 90.  He is a genius musician whose life purpose is to play “gigs”. This year my boyfriend’s mother began complaining about her back, but was unwilling to visit the chiropractor or have a massage.  “Why bother” was her retort when he queried her on her decision. My father’s partner was heard saying, “Why am I still here?” My father has remarked, “If I can’t play music anymore, what’s left for me?” We began to discuss how we thought our parents might be giving up.  Of course, we are not close to being 90 or 100 years old, and we want to respect their process and decisions, and also try to understand how, if possible, we could motivate them.  They’re not having it.  Not interested.  Leave me alone. We are shocked and bewildered.  From our vantage point (66 and 72), we are doing all we can to eat well, engage self-care, exercise and stay fit.  Will that desire leave us as we continue to age?  Are we different than our parents and their generation?  Are we too naïve?  Are we discounting our parents desire to “leave them alone” by attempting to encourage them to move more?  Has something taken place within their consciousness, body, and spirit that is alluding us, something that we can only know when it takes place within us?  Perhaps “giving up” is really surrendering? I’m wondering if any of you have had this experience with your aging parents? The Goddess has been present the entire time encouraging me, whispering to listen to my body and intuition, guiding my choices and decisions, urging me toward acceptance and forgiveness, and lulling me to sleep so I could squarely face another day rested.  I feel emotionally rich and grateful as 2018 slips away. What will you remember from 2018, dear Goddesses? I will continue to fold my life experience and journeys into my course, The Art of Mindful Aging in 2019.  I hope to see you at the upcoming series.  See below for information and early registration discount.

The Art of Mindful Aging Series

A 5-week series from 1:00 to 3:00 pm, Sunday afternoons February 10, 17, 24 and March 3, 10 Bindupoint Center for Presence 17547 Ventura Blvd., Unit 106 Encino, CA 91316   The Art of Mindful Aging series is dedicated and devoted to aging adults who want to understand more about their aging process.  During the course, we will discover how you can have a deeper connection with your body as you age and how self-care can help get you there.  We will also discuss the value and wisdom you have gained through your years of working and life experience.  This series also addresses how relationship and sexuality needs can shift and change as we age.  The final module explores the benefits of spirituality as a powerful tool for aging mindfully.

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I’d love to see you in 2019!  Let’s learn and share our aging experiences together. To your mindful aging, Denise